Social Anxiety

At some point in ours lives we will experience the fear of social anxiety, for some people its just a little thing and we get over it fairly quickly, for other people it sort of over powers them and makes them so nervous it comes without words.

For me I used to be riddled with social anxiety, there was a point in my life where I was scared of stepping outside of my front door encase I met someone I knew or the fear of just being judged. I was like this for months, I guess that’s just a side affect of being bullied.

See no one really explains how it feels to have social anxiety, I guess the closet thing I could describe it to is the feeling of having to do a school presentation, you know the feeling where you feel a lump in your throat because you have to stand in front of your classmates or work-colleges and your scared of saying the wrong thing and looking stupid?? Well imagine feeling like that everyday but ten times worse.

Now I do have to say I’m not as bad as I used to be, I tend to be more confident and I’m able to go out and have a good time without worrying, that’s not to say that the thoughts of getting judged or seeing someone I know aren’t still there, cause they are but their more at the back of my head nowadays rather than the front.

The reason for me letting you know that I’ve struggled with social anxiety is because i want to help people who are going threw social anxiety or have went threw it and need someone to relate too or talk too.

Some tips that helped me when I was trying to get over social anxiety was something my Mum told me “who cares what people think of you, in a few years time you’ll never see half those people again” and she was right, if your going to school and your suffering from social anxiety, because your worried of being judged by certain people or your being bullied and your scared of seeing those assholes, just remember that this is just a small fraction of your life these people are only going to be in your life for a short period of time and then they’ll be gone out your life for ever.

Something that also helped me was reading other blogs about anxiety and social anxiety like Zoella and other blogs.

Other things that helped me with social anxiety is friendships, after I found a good supportive friend group, they helped me gain confidence and find who I was. Now I’m not friends with alot of that group anymore because… reasons but I have kept in contact with a few individuals like my friends Jamie Leigh and Caroline, along aside my two best friends Erin and Jennifer as those were the ones that were there for me through out everything, so I would recommend finding a supportive friend group or a supportive person to talk to.

See social anxiety shouldn’t be something that takes over your life and if it is you need to be the one to change it, see social anxiety won’t just disappear over night, it’s along, slow and hard process to just begin scratching the surface of social anxiety, I’ve battled with social anxiety and paranoia for about 2 – 3 years and it’s only been this past year that I’ve started overcoming social anxiety, and I’m still no where near overcoming it, I know that but as long as I keep doing what I’m doing it can keep it managed, this goes with my paranoia when the time comes for me to start overcoming paranoia I’ll remember it’s going to take a long time and that’s just how it is.

I’m still on my journey of overcoming social anxiety and I’m willing to go through the long process, as at the end of it I’ll be free and that’s all I want to be to be honest with you.

Now most likely this didn’t help anyone, but if it did then let me know, and if you have any questions the best place you can reach me is my Twitter @JakeAllanXo Or my Instagram @JakeAllanXo

Thanks for reading

@JakeXo

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Time to Clear Things Up and Come Back Kicking

So I’ve not uploaded in over a month and the main cause of this is I had a bit of writers block. I was struggling coming up with ideas and I found it hard to think of blog posts I haven’t seen before, and that’s one of the biggest reason’s but, the main reason is that firstly I was focusing on making my youtube work (which btw I’ve decided to stop doing but I’ll get to that in a seocnd), I was then focusing on spending more time with family and friends for the last part of my summer holidays, and lastly I was starting back at school, so it’s been a pretty hectic month if I do say so myself.

Now to the reason I stopped youtube, I decided to stop doing youtube as I can’t find the time to sit and record edit and upload multiple videos a week, but I am still trying to find out if I could potentially change the out look of my channel, by making my gaming channel a sims speed build and cas channel as those are my favourite aspects of the Sims franchise, and I’m thinking about livestreaming alot more as to me livestreaming is so much easier to do through the week as there isn’t so much editing, there’s no time constraints or worrying if I’ll get it up one time ect., so that’s my idea, for my channel and for livestreaming.

Now that’s not to say I’m never going to have a let’s play on the Sims 4 because I’m most likely going to be doing a Sims 4 Cats and Dogs LP when the time comes so yeah, but for the time being I believe that livestreaming my current household and doing CAS and Speed Builds will be the best option for me to work it around school work.

Another thing I want to touch on is my podcast, now if you didn’t know I have a podcast called JakesPodcast, I know creative right??, and I haven’t uploaded on that in a while, this is not because Ive stopped or anything it’s basically because of soundcloud payment plans, my 3 hours recording limit has ran out and I’m working on being able to get the ¬£8 subscription but I’ll most likely not be able to get it till just after Christmas to be able to get it month so for the time being I’m not uploading unfortunately but I will be when I’m able to get the ¬£8 monthly subscription.

So now all that’s rounded up your probably wondering what’s happening with your blog then??… basically I’m back I’m got to try get back into uploading more often as I love blogging, to me my blog is like my home away for my home so it’s been breaking my heart not uploading and I really want to get back into it because over the past few weeks I’ve been thinking of how to come back and what posts I could upload, and today I decided to say fuck it let’s get back into so I did.

Hopefully this cleared things up and hopefully you stick around.

I also want to say thank you to a few consistent readers who have measaged me asking if I have left and what has been happening you’ve really made me want to come back and upload more so thank you xx

So thank you for reading and I’ll see in my next post I guess.

@JakeXo

Podcast Is Up And Thank You

Finally… so my friend has finally finished editing the podcast and it is up on sound cloud as we speak, but before I give you a link to the podcast I just want to say thank you to everyone who has supported my blog and my social media over that past months, you guys mean alot to me and you give me something to look forward to every time I upload a post, even though I don’t have a large following the followers I do have give me the strength and happiness to do what I do.

This podcast and my personal podcast is opening up and new window to you guys to let me interact with you more and to hopefully make a difference in someone’s life, I hope you enjoy these podcasts and please let me know any feedback back, either on my social media or on my blog thank you guys and I love xx

Personal : JakesPodcast

Group: The Girls + The Gay

@JakeXo

Finally…?!

If you’ve read any of my blog posts in the last 3 weeks then you may have known that me and my friends were planing on starting a podcast and guess what…. we FINALLY did it….. Yaaaasssss.

This has been in the works for about a month and a half, and we just haven’t been able to get the whole group together to do the first episode but we were able to do exactly that yesterday.

In our first episode we basically talk about alot of shit to be honest, and we basically had a normal conversation between us but just in front of a mic. The podcast was about 40-45mins long but by the time my friend edits some parts, it’ll probably be around 30 mins, which is great considering we tried to record it about 90 times.

But I had fun and yes it’ll probably be all over the place but with everything in life, practice makes perfect, and exactly what we need…. practice.

The first episode should be up about Friday, so yeah, we finally got round to doing it.

I hope you guys like it when it’s up and I’ll put a normal post up on Saturday when I do my personal podcast .

@JakeXo

Party Time !!!

Tonight my friend Jody and I were invited to a birthday party for my other friend Emily’s Dad, who is turning 50 in a couple days.

Even though I’m in 5th year (10th or 11th Grade in the US) of high school this was the first proper party I had been invited to.

Yeah not that depressing to be completely honest with you, I’ve never really been the drinking and partying type of teenager, I’m more of a stay at home and face time you type of guy, but it was nice actually be going to a party for once instead of seeing other people having a good time on Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

It was a really fun night and I didn’t get to drunk haha, that was a joke, anyways I only had one alcoholic drink and then had Coca-Cola & Irn Bru the rest of the night, even then it was before we even left for the party so by the time we got there it was worn off anyways hahaha.

My friends and I basically just sat at our table most of the night, sang along to the songs that we knew and just made the most of it, at some point in the night tho we did go out for a walk around the block to get some fresh air, and about half 11 at night went and got a take away.

I do remember falling up the stairs at one point in the night, not because I was drunk, it was actually because I’m just a clumsy cunt, to put it nicely.

Overall it was a good night and I’ll probably do it again if I get invited to another party like that.

@JakeXo

Slight Change of Plan

If you read my last post the you would know that my friends and I have decided to start making a podcast, and we were going to do start it on Friday (which was yesterday in the UK) but as you may be able to tell it didn’t happen, no it wasn’t because we chickened out on doing it but, it was actually because one of my friends and the girl in charge of sound and editing was actually ill, so we’ve decided to push it back to next week so hopefully youse don’t mind but we didn’t want to start without our gurl Emily so bare with well be back up and running next week.

Self-reflection 

There comes a time in every ones life where you have to sit yourself down and reflect on things that have happened in your lives.

Last night I went into a bad mental state which put me in a very, very dark place and thankfully I had friends who help me through it, but I did have alot of time to reflect on things that have happend to me throughout the first half of the year.

In away I guess it was a good thing that it happend because I reflected on all the bad things that has happened over the first half of this year, and it made me realise that what’s happend over the course of 5 months may have made me feel shitty ( and sometimes still does ) but it’s made me make a whole new group of friends, it’s made me realise who’s there and who I can count on.

It’s made me reflect on things that have happend further back I the past and has made me realise, that even thought I played apart in the things that have happend it wasn’t all me and I shouldn’t blame myself and hurt myself emotionally over it, it’s also made me realise that people are cruel and mean.

I think it was good for me to reflect on things as it was all jammed in my head and even though the impact of the situations haven’t complete left, it’s a start right?? (I think it is)